I want to be free, just like a bird
unfolding my precious dreams, like happiness in the herd....

Want to be a smile, tender and soft
spreading happiness all around like sunshine on the loft....

want to be an idea, shaping my soul
helping my thoughts to bring best in all....

But I don't think this is enough
my life is again playing a bluff...

Every good moments that we do share
there is always some cost that we have to spare.....

why there is boundation in every relation
which ends up at nothing just leaving frustration.....

is there any other way of feeling the love
without kissing, hugging or touching above.....

is there anyone who is living for others
without owning their life just filling it with colors.....

why the burden of expectation forcing us to bend
I am still waiting for someone who can change the trend.....

Time has special quality to drift away more than our imagination. It is more cruel than our reality perhaps gives the pleasure of being subtle. Now it's you who play the most deterministic role, who decide the very fortune and define the unknown projected line in your palm. She was inside the deep thinking without any blink of her eyes like the shutter of a camera who was mesmerized by the view it was going to take. uncombed hair, bright eyes with round specks covering the most part of her face, with a long arrow nose perfectly seated and showing the gratitude to the specs. The unnatural lines of her face which tells you that how many times you have tried to give a fake smile And finally the lips, fumbling but dried with the ocean of words. Short hair with lots of curls and swirls hanging around with a black dark circle around those responsible eyes.
yes there she was, seated silently on her chair and gazing on her laptop like a turtle with little bent neck away from slim and perfectly curved body. An unknown expression of disagreement  and fighting with her own brain. I went a bit closer to her and was shocked when i found her writing a poem and scrolling the face book page up and down without paying much attention to her finger which was totally senseless at that time.
first time I standing in front of a typical Haryanvi girl, little confused and with lots of unknown thoughts running around her mind. I made a small plan to talk with her after my first interaction that we had at the door of the library last evening. It's not because I was getting attracted toward her eyes or face or anything which physically exist but the sad face or I can say the suppressed feeling that attracts me more towards her.
she was sinking inside her deep thoughts when I reached nearby and found her writing a poem in her copy, she allowed me to read the poem which was telling me about her perception for life and every words of that poem had its own meaning wrapped inside some modest culture bringing happiness as well as disappointment. It describing the very true sense. connecting every dots of the unconditional love and sacrifice of everything which was common in both me and in her as well but of course it can't be possible for two same people in this whole planet. Circumstances are different but the direction was same.
My urge to know about her, to read her mind, to understand her frequent and fluctuating behavior  was at boom and keep forcing me to talk with her, still I was confused , because none of the word present in the dictionary was describing it completely. Finally I made it to spend some private time with her so that I can satisfy my inner voice and fulfill the unknown wish. I was also feeling afraid because the path on which I was moving will end up at critical stage where I wont find any way back to the beginning, true but who cares, I was ready to play with my mind with it's more intense and warmth behavior.
That evening which was drenched with her pure and brackish water drops coming out her eyes and reflecting the light coming from stars and the moon enfolded with some deep pain and sign of down casted feelings  liberating  some unknown aroma in the air dragging me very badly towards her pain,
her past was as sharp as dagger which would kill anyone who tries to touch it but she was still carrying it somewhere deep down in her heart. Its sharp edge hurting her every time, giving her wound which was very hard to heal. She know it very well but this dagger is the only hope which helps her to feel more safe and stop her not to fight again with the same monster. She was right but life is not something which you can judge on your experience but it is something  to create such experience, it is dynamic, it is beautiful and to make her understand this I was keep moving inside her thoughts, I was silently listening her, every words, every lines, every feelings and yes the silence too which was a bit more intense than the other two.
it was not less than a nightmare giving me goose bumps. every word coming out her mouth was connecting me with her, forcing  me to held her hand, wipe her tears, hug her to make her feel warm and comfortable but I know she won't trust anyone anymore. I tried my best to be with her and I was very happy because I was able to made her feel comfortable at the end with a great and peaceful smile filled with harmoniousness after sharing everything that hurting her and limiting her to think beyond her real existence. I was correct about her, she was carrying a ton of guilt inside her for which she was not responsible at all. that evening was cruel because it made her to went through the same things again but dutiful too which calm down her inner agitation and stress.
Every single minute of that 2 hour and 37 minutes time made me feel strange and contented because she shared everything with me and given me one of the important position in her life, meeting with any guy is common for every girl but very few of them are lucky who got the trust and to play one the important role which may last an hour, a day, a week or may be lifetime. Winning her body is more easy than winning her heart, trust and soul. I want to make her realize that you are unique and beautiful in your own way. She knows everything the truth, the lies the situation but totally unaware of the the future. Past was still pulling her back.
She has something inside her which was ready to explode and its sound will reach the every corner of this planet but she was again in the same competition not because she wants to but to indulge herself into that busy part of her life which will take so long to settle down. Her eyes wants to see beyond the sky, her steps wants to go far far away and around the planet, her smile want to touches her both ears, her wings are ready to fly but she was tied with her past. When this negative things dominant in her feelings I saw the change, she will smile like even an ugly feeling transform into some pure and calm breeze spreading love and affection in the air. She looks so beautiful in typical Indian dress with a small bindi in the center of her eyebrows which always assured me, yes Navin everything is fine with me today. she still have child like heart which is ready to do all stupid things but when she will found someone who can tolerate her small silly unknowing behavior and made her feel comfortable and safe.

 I started spent more time with her in knowing her, sometime laughing sometime explaining the things sometime just looking at her and saw her busy mouth which was always busy to complete every discussion. Though I don't like having tea but nowadays I started  taking it like a serum and yes it is working though. Of course I was not in love but a deep discussion with a stuck life of my friend.  Everyday I used to wait for the time when she would come and invite me for a cup of tea. We both spent some time together and help her to inculcate the real existence inside her story. 

She have lots of friends and I was well aware that I am not one among them but my intention was always to make her feel happy and boost her confidence to be great and amazing, pushing her toward a new goal a new future where she will be keep moving with confidence and enjoying her each moments of life. Don't know when she will find anyone who make her feel different accepting her with the real her and hold her hands till the last breath or may be she start walking alone without any fear and her past.

                                                                      All the best Monica.

THE UNKNOWN VOICE

It was as usual day, the same sunshine with it's yellow rays soothing the evening of October month and greeting it warmly. The time was 4:30 evening i was fighting with the huge syllabus of my subject at the corner seat of the library wearing navy blue half sleeve t-shirt with a blue leather jacket over it. i was on the second floor of the three storied library and today because of the huge syllabus i promised with myself that without completion of the topics i won't leave. as the evening was approaching quietly my anxiety was also started pushing me to read fast because of the test that was scheduled next day. This time i had taken a different place in the library to study because this time i was a bit more serious as the teacher of that subject already scolded me for ignoring subject and not reading seriously for this semester. The place where i was reading this time has a series of wooden table and chair with brown old texture kept at 20 meters away in a row and in between the big bulky shelf equipped with ancient book with a layer of dust over it. My place was between two big shelf and in front of window which opens in west direction and collecting some natural air and light through it. After sometime i heard some humming sound coming from outside. All the student came out from the class as the hour hand was striking 5 and the college time was  over, i told my mind to keep quiet and focus on the subject without wandering anywhere. soon it was 5:40 and i found little dark inside the library but the word inside the book was visible i thought it might be my fear that was helping me to read clearly in that dull environment. suddenly i found someone standing beside me and gazing inside my book, my body  shook for a while and when the pictures was cleared i saw one of the Library staff staring at me consciously, i saw her and asked her with a perplexed look without uttering any word, she came near to me and took her purse which was lie behind the table. Then she told me to put the book at it proper place after reading and left.  With a warm smile i replied in affirmation. Then she went downstairs but suddenly i found her beside the table next to me within few moments, she smiled at me and lit the light that was just above me and told me not to read in the dim light, i thanked her for this.

I was going with the wave of unknown words like it  was travelling in the space without any direction and guidance. In few moments i got a call from one of my friends. She told me that she is coming to the library to give me a good company for the rest of the time. I was diving  deep inside my subject and was fighting with its complexity. Suddenly i felt very cold, just like a cool breeze chilling our bodies  in winter night at the sea shore. I thought may be the wind which is coming from the window is responsible for this uncomfortness so i pulled both of my hands little more tighter and wrap them above my chest to provide little warmth to my body. The buzzing sound of the exhaust fan that was just above me was very clear to my ears as there was pindrop silence  in the library. I was feeling little weird and scared because today there were very less people who were interested in studying or may be i was among those moron who was not taking part in the weekender organised by the Dramatics Society.
The horror picture became more real when the power went off because of the short circuit, it was like adding some sudden scene to complete the horror movie and making it more intense. I thought it was more interesting drama compare to the real one that was going outside near the lawn. Before i decided to leave the library the power came back and i took a deep breath end exhaled my fear out of my body. I felt like there were someone who was standing behind me and before i decided to turn around someone called me from behind taking my name softly. N-A-V-I-N......It was just like someone is mumbling my name close to my ears with clear and soft tone.  i was pretty sure about one thing, that the particular voice had a very low pitch just like a lady who is young, nearly 29 yrs old. I turned around and found no one nearby me. I started feeling hot and my whole body drenched with sweat of fear within few moments. I assured my self that it was just my thought and nothing else but from inside i was about to run from that place. Then like everyone i  also started feeling different and all the horror movies were playing in the backside of my mind giving me some insane picture of
ghost, witches, vampire and some were damn scary which was made up by my own creative mind. I took a deep breath again to calm myself and just like a main character of some horror movie, i decided not to leave the place without any evidence. so I calmed my mind and looked around. I found a heap of books were lying on the table next to me.
I saw the very first book which was lying on the top and it was little smaller compared to the other books with blue cover and slightly tilted towards me. As i told you, considering myself as a hero, i tried to contact with that thing and asked him or her to show some sign of his or her presence. Within fraction of seconds, that book with the blue cover  fell down from the table.
I took my book and started running towards the exit of the library. After taking some fast and intense steps, i felt like i was missing something and i realised that i left my mobile phone at that place. I scratched my head and got goosebumps all over my body. I took U turn and came back. As soon as i reached the  same table i found that the light started flickering and my mobile was vibrating. I took my mobile phone and ran towards the exit of the library. I got a miss call from an unknown number without any number.
That day i realised that sometimes we should not copy the movie in real life because it is more scary than it seems on  the big screen.

Belief.............

The evening was bit more hazy than usual with the extreme dust rolling and buzzing around my face,  the kinking wind was slapping my cheeks with extreme force. I was waiting for an auto rickshaw eagerly to reach home after my hectic journey in the middle of the summer season. The temperature was hitting nearly 46 degrees and though it was dark outside but  still the concrete road was relaxing and sneezing out the heat it absorbed working whole day.

After waiting for half an hour i saw an electronic auto-rickshaw which we use to call toto, came and stood beside me. There was a girl with an umbrella and a black bag. The i-card of some school or college student was hanging all around her neck. She was waiting inside toto to be filled with passengers so that she could reach home early.

She was beautiful and well organized with her hair and appearance. She had worn a blue frock with a glittering watch which was sparkling in the night because of headlight of the vehicle passing by. As soon as i took the seat of the toto, she stopped smiling and looked at me, i told the toto driver to take me my place and he asked for 40 bucks, i agreed and we started the journey.

while travelling, the driver was observing her continuously in his back mirror and at every look he gave her a wicked smile and not focusing on the road. I was watching him continuously doing that and was ready to scold him for his behaviour.

After travelling half a mile the toto stopped and the girl got down and put her hand inside  her bag in search of money she kept inside. Finally she took out 10 bucks and stretched her hand towards him to pay the fair but he denied. She was forcing him to accept it but he rejected and moved his toto with a smile on his face. 

I asked him why he didn't accept the fair from her, he replied me that "no brother i can't do that". I asked him the reason , then he told me something that really shocked me completely,

. He told me that "the girl who was there a minute before was his wife and though she wanted to complete her dreams to become a Banker" she goes to the training institute and comes late in the evening everyday. He use to wait for her daily at this time so that he could save some of her money. He was supporting her by his earning and every time when she insist him to accept the fair he use to reject. I was very happy after listening that and realised the sacrifice behind every dream we see by the people who is the real hero behind that.

Finally i reached my home and i gave him 50 bucks instead of 40 and told him that this is the complete fair you deserve...thank you 

THE UNTOLD TOUCH

Have you ever felt a relation which is too short to be kept and so intense to forgot...yes there is some relation which you cant define  not  because it is only complex but time will permit  you some of the beautiful moments to live for short time and yes there is some beautiful memories that bring a huge smile on your face, it is so pure that will touches your heart and soul.It will come to you at perfect time and perfect moments when you truly need it. How it impacted my life i  don't know but it's so beautiful that while writing it my fingers are not stopping for a while and my face is carrying a soft touch of happiness and mind has no greed of capturing that perfect thing.
i was smiling because after a prolonged pause our plan got the real existence out of our whats-app group. We are five in our group POO, CHIN, SAM, D and ME. We are the most fascinated group crazy for  travelling and cover the whole world with our short legs. We planned for  the top hills of India  and the most spiritual place in India(north) called the heaven because of the beauty of the nature. I heard from many people about the air of jammu and Kashmir

that there is something in that air which attracts not only people but nations and still war is going on to own this beautiful place and yes nothing to amaze because we human being are the most cumbersome species full of greed and mad for beauty. I rose their heart beat when i  boarded  the train 10 minutes before departure of the train from NDLS station. Saw my group with my excited eyes and beating heart holding all the new pictures which is going to become real once again with my small selfie addicted group.
POO came near to me and hugged me tightly, I was very happy  after meeting with my friends, everyone was giving me strange look, specially SAM and CHIN but D was still ignoring me, i think she was busy in some other world full of ignorance but yes it was all for me because in previous trip we had some small fight which we never figured them out.

I tried to tease her for being quiet and sad but she  didn't even look at me and changed her place. She is a short heighten girl having normal colour complexion, though she is from one of the famous state of  India which is reflected by her Bihari tone for which she is proud of, She is the second older family member among her 5 sibling.Few months ago her whole  family members was going through a great trauma which breaks everything in her family, her father was badly ill because of the infection of  the wound near the toe and it become so vulnerable  that weaken his body and reaches his brain and damages the nervous system, he lost his consciousness and control on his body and none of the  medicine was working on him, the whole family was fighting with it unitedly and defeated it, i cannot express the situation from which she had gone through. Every day and night was bringing a new problems in her life but they never lost their hope and now the situation is far better, her father  is  recovering and everything is getting back to normal. She had never shown her situation to anyone, i tried to be  with her during this time and called her daily to get the update but she got  irritated by my calls so she  started ignoring my call and  i was totally aware of her problem and annoying behavior. One day she  called me and  was crying because of the worst condition and not getting control over the problem they are facing, her father shifted to too many hospitals, the whole family was badly affected by every means, i was coming from my college and received the call, after listening her shivering, frightened and disturbed tone i planned to visit her but she stopped me and told me to wait for some time. She didn't called me after that day.
When i saw  her eyes it was little tired and hungry for some change which she haven't senses so long, i knew that she  was on this trip because she promised god that once her father will start recovering she will  come for thanksgiving to the supreme power whose  hope and trust exists all over the world and this time it is also present on those hills which was calling  us. I planned to enjoy and give best time to myself in understanding and solving some complicated questions meandering  all around my life specially for my sister who is also going through tough time.

When i saw her in the train i bounded one more  wish with my aim for this trip, to give her some best moments, so that she can feel better without expecting anything from anyone. We reached that place early in the morning and went to the  temple where we got hardly 1 minute for praying and tell him our whole wish, we came back, our stay was damn good  though little ups and downs are obvious in any  group but everything was amazing. We planned to  stay in one room though we booked for  two. POO and CHIN were settled on one bed and we three on another, though POO wants me  to sleep by her side but i ignored because CHIN was already there and he is little attracted towards her so i decided not  to disturb them and told D to clear space beside her and finally i slept beside her. It was 2 am in the night i was still looking at her face and wanted to touch her forehead gently and to make her feel more comfortable and loving after such a long and hard journey but i was afraid of people who will name this feeling something else but finally didn't care  for others and moved my palm gently on her forehead she was in deep sleep and dreaming, then i also went into deep sleep and when i woke up i hadn't found her on our billet she came back after brushing her teeth, i asked her for  her hand and hold it firmly with my heart and slept for some time. she was feeling strange and shy too,it was hardly 15 minutes after which i woke up and left the  cozy bed. I saw the wonderful smile and  unknown happiness on her face giving me satisfaction. I also brought a gift for her, it is basically a t shirt that i painted for her as a  birthday gift but feeling little awkward while giving her.

Then we moved according to our plan and while going that place we booked a cab which was 5 sitter and we all took our place, the journey was little long so everyone in the cab was sleeping, POO with CHIN, SAM with me in the front seat of the  cab and D in the back alone after playing lot of beautiful song in the speaker that i brought for making our journey full of memories. She teased  everyone with that speaker by playing next to our ears and after some time she again slept and her cap came in front of her head which cover her eyes and she was looking like a cute little child. In the beginning she was sleeping on the CHIN"S shoulder after sometime she slip behind CHIN and seat of the cab because he was busy in giving company to his friend cum attraction POO , i was smiling watching her sleeping like this and wanted to give her my shoulder. We reached  that cave and then returned back directly to the railway station. Our train was on the same day in the evening. We decide pizza as our dinner, i and D decided to go to domino  and bring the pizza for us. I was walking by her side holding her hand and taking care of her, we had wonderful time together for all those time and she confronted me and broke her silence and told me about all those tough time from which she had gone through,
while doing this her eyes was filled with tears but she handled it and  not let them roll on her cheeks.

we boarded the  train,our ticket was not confirmed it is in RAC so i insisted her to sit with me so that we can talk and i could give her some good moments. I settle down on our desired birth but POO wants to sit with me so  she  came and took the rest half  seat, i looked at D in anger and messaged  her to come and sit next to me, we start making different excuses to send POO because CHIN was also waiting  for her but she hadn't moved her ass an inch  so finally i decided to  take the other birth allotted to us, D came and  sit in front of me, i felt little good, we talked whole  night soon i found her eyes was filled with sleep and i felt like  i am forcing  her  to talk so i  got  up and taken other vacant place available on that train and slept comfortably.
We reached to Delhi in the morning 6 am, i was feeling sad because our trip was over but we had wonderful  memories with us. I came back to my friend's room and after such a hectic journey finally i slept for 5 hours continuously then i planned to  visit one of my friend live in Noida City Center and stayed there with my friend Tanmay. When i reached Noida i missed her once.
The next day D messaged me and we both planned to meet at logix , 5 pm in the evening,though it was my last day in Delhi, i reached at 4:30 pm and was waiting for her, we both planned for Kedarnath movie. She was near to me and we were enjoying the movie, while one of beautiful song was playing inside the theater NamoNamo Shankara, i hold her hand, she felt shy but she  allowed me to hold her hands and then we watched  the  whole movie and i captured her inside that song. Whenever i listened that song i felt her nearby me and i am taking care of her. After watching that movie we had our dinner together and every time i was keep telling her to freeze every moments so that it would never end but she smiled and told me to live every moment instead of counting.
After our dinner we both are standing outside the mall and ready  to bid bye to each other but i was still not ready to leave her like this, i wanted to spend some more time and asked her to stay with me the entire night, she felt different but she trusted me and was ready to be with me for the whole night though her roommate is  getting angry  on her for being so late, i felt very happy but soon i realized that  this  is not good for today and then we booked a cab. Now its time to go to  our own way , finally i hugged her tightly and kissed on her forehead and without looking back i sat inside the cab.
Cab took me directly to my room which is very far away from her hostel but our beautiful time still holding our feeling which makes us smile and feeling special for each other. I was very happy while  returning to my home after this journey because i lived it the way i wanted, holding life in every breathe and smile. Though we don't have any plan for next year but we certainly do because we are unstoppable.
And about D, she is one of the strongest girl who can handle any situation in her life, she  is  fast and so caring who will take care of her family, though she didn't need any care or help but every human being wanted to get loved, care and attention. So do i and you.

CHAPTER :- 14 ONE MORE STEP....

still she was waiting for the gift curiously, closed eyes and the delusive smile making me feel so different and lunatic. I held my breath and rush toward her once again, my eyes was more busy in watching her face and getting attracted toward her simplicity. All the Bollywood movies start roaming around my wits, and it is true that i was keep trying to ignore the Hollywood movies😃. And before she open her eyes i touched her warm and soft cheek with my lips,

while doing that i was totally out of this universe, my heart was totally controlling my brain and it was pumping like trillions litres of blood at a time. When i came back in the real world i opened my eyes and saw that she was amazed and nervous too and again looking out of the window and  when she was kept mum for more than five minutes i was started feeling very bad and felt very sorry for this.
After 10 minutes when she saw me in such a confused and guilt condition  she held my hand and told me " its ok Navin,don't feel bad about it, i know your love is pure and childish too". Still my head was full of different thoughts, i was feeling damn bad when i realised that what i have done. Then she came very near to me and kissed on my cheek and told me that i like you too and i never carry any debt. I felt better and felt relaxed because i didn't want to hurt her or loose this beautiful relation. Then we talked for the next couple of minutes and the pole star was smiling and bidding me goodbye with a spark on its face. When i checked my watch it was 4:30 in the morning and we are about to reach our destination.

Finally we got down at Bhubneswar bus stand. I requested her to go for a walk to explore the cold and moist weather and also to spent some more time with her that day. She agreed and we start walking toward ram mandir but the best part was  holding her hand and walking by her side which makes me feel so damn good and different. It was like completing one of the wish from my wish box. We both were talking, laughing and keep walking on that foggy filled road, suddenly i came across a tea stall, i brought two cups of tea and we had it together. Such an awesome feeling...
we had it together with an unknown feeling touching our heart and soothing to our eyes, the most wonderful feeling that giving rain to the thirsty barren piece of land looking for the way of survival.
With every sip of tea we looked at each other and smile, sometime it continues for a longer time and sometime it ends with an unknown expression coming out with deep breathe and inhaling the fresh air with new life and moments, it was just like living life in every moments. I was wondering of having some amazing and supernatural power to stop that every moments.
But the time was forcing its needle to swap the moments of being together to loneliness and finally her mobile phone rang and her boyfriend was coming to pick her up from bus stand, i felt bad not because her boyfriend was coming but about the unknown hatred that she was carrying inside her heart way long and still compelled to sit behind him on his bike, why she is so calm if she is able to bring calamity, why she was so damn sad if she can start her life anytime anywhere, why the boundation of the relations are so tight that it binds our tongue too to ask for the justice.

Finally we went back to the same place where the bus dropped us and within 10 minutes she got one more call from him about her current location, she told me to go to railway station because i was also getting late, my train was at 6 in the morning "janstabdi" though every train in India has a custom of getting late but this train is always on time, what a fucking coincidence and there is nothing to amaze, it always happens whenever you expect something good. i caught an auto for railway station but after few second i got down and told the auto driver that  i forgot my luggage at the bus stand and stand behind the car and was looking at her. A bike came with red in colour and a tall guy wearing a helmet came near to her and then she sat behind him on the bike and then she went with him. i was watching her till she disappear in the morning fog with that guy. I was feeling bad about the time when we chose our own way not because we want however life changes its colour but i forgotten that  i am already late for  the  train and  when i reached the railway  station i saw the cross sign on the last  bogie of my train bidding me good bye and its two red light giving me  wicked smile and teasing me. I was feeling bad because i missed my  train and happy because i was returning with tons of wonderful memories. I went to the enquiry office and asked for  some other train, they told me that there is one super fast train ready to depart from station  no 5, i ran with my bag and boarded the train without  any second thought and when i realised that i had done a huge mistake because i forget to withdraw money from ATM and  i was running out of money.

Suddenly i saw a man in black jacket who seems like a ghost to me on that day coming directly in my direction, he came very  near to me but didn't ask for ticket, i exhaled my discomfort with that mouth full of breathe and relaxed, then i took out my personal diary and newspaper. I spread the news paper on the floor and start  reading my personal diary. Like me some other people was also present with me at that time but the difference was they  had ticket but i didn't have any tickets not even general class ticket and i was in super-fast without money, wow what a surprise!! I was blaming myself for everything but whenever my mind try  to blame her equally my heart wins every time.
Suddenly i found him near to me checking the tickets, i closed my eyes and prayed to god "please help me god, i will never lie to anyone for next 1 month" He asked the ticket to the boy next to me, he took out his ticket and it  was in waiting list, then he asked for the second one, again it was waiting then he came to me and asked me "is your ticket under waiting list? I nodded my head in affirmation and he left me without  even looking at my ticket, oh god!!you really exist, thanks a trillion. i looked at everyone and without uttering any word and thanked them for helping me unknowingly.
Suddenly i found that  i was crossing the cuttack  station where she  live, I called her but the call didn't get connect and  it crossed like the time but left the beautiful memories.
I reached my home very late with my small backpack and a bag full of  memories that touches my heart and giving me amazing feeling.

CHAPTER-: 13 OH GOD SHE HAD LONG NAILS!!

She was surprised for some time and looking at me like i had done something for which she was waiting for long time. Her hair was floating all around her and the moonlight was covering other half part of her face it's like the whole frame was holding a beautiful story, she chuckled and asked me what is your age Navin, i was still in the same position and my leg was badly stuck in between the seat and was paining hard but i was in love which was controlling me and my pain but of course not for too long!! i told her  "ma'am that is second issue first of all please accept my proposal because its too hard to be in this position" , she laughed loudly and took the rose and helped me to get rid of that posture. I took a deep breath of relief, she was still smiling on me for the stupidity but was very happy that i had done this for her. For a moment i was also feeling that i am a jerk. she was watching the rose carefully and again started looking out of the window, i just pushed her back and peep out through the window and told ma'am there is nothing interesting  out there compare to this moment, so why were you ignoring me and looking out of the window? In reply to this she closed the window and then turned into my direction and then told me"bolo(say), i was shocked and suddenly a cold sweat drenched my body and felt like i had to pee. Then i looked her intense expression and again repeated the same line "ma'am I LOVE YOU".

"This is not possible Navin you know that, we have 8 years of age gap and you are still studying", i took deep breath and looked directly in her eyes. I know ma'am this is a huge problem but we would definitely make a way of out of it. But you haven't replied yet. She held my hand tightly and told me "i have a boyfriend and you know it very well but he had never done anything for me like the way you did, today i am in a great dilemma, i am going behind that guy not because i love him but just to prove myself that my choice is correct, i tried so hard to make everything alright but neither my life nor the person proving me right." "yes i love you too, your talk is mature and you understand me more than anyone else, i can't tell you how much you are important for me this time, you listened to me and always helped me to get rid of those feelings which always tries to bring me down but i too have my own limits, people will blame me for this". I felt very bad and start looking out of the window, then she looked at the window too and teased me by saying that" is there anything outside the window which is more attractive than me ?" I smiled and looked at her again, i felt very jealous for the person with whom she gonna spend rest of her life. She asked me" So sir may i allowed to open the window because we both are feeling hot", i repeated her sentence again"hot?" she gave me an angry look and told me hot means the temperature inside the bus.I smiled and pull the window glass aside.
I saw the pole star which was still gazing at us without twinkling and making that moment amazing. I looked at my mobile phone it was quarter past 3, the night was still permitting me to live some more beautiful moments.We both were awake like nocturnal animals who wait for every night to live best part of  their life. Suddenly i felt a little pain on my wrist and was shocked because she was still holding my wrist tightly and her nails was gushing deep into my skin and giving me sweet pain. She was completely unaware and was busy in her own world which was trying to drag her once again into the dark world of frustration and stress which was hard to resist but i didn't want to see her like this and want to make her feel good and comfortable with me.
Finally i moved my arm to realise her that ma'am you art still holding my arm, she realised and then  released her hold onto my arms. i found a beautiful impression on my wrist with four big semicircular lines well defining the smoothness of her well shaped nails and sharp curves of her nailshaper  but soon the scars was started itching, she looked at me with her amazing eyes and felt sorry without uttering a single word.  She again  start feeling depressed because of her present situation and this time i show some courage and hold her hand tightly and locked it up with my fingers she tried to pull it back but within few seconds she just left the control on her palm and allowed me to hold it properly, i told her not to worry, we would find some solution for this problem. She was worried and was badly tortured by the both side, their parents and her boyfriend who was still making excuse to delay the marriage and even didn't want to  listen her about this topic.I asked ma'am that did  she ever went to his home since they were in relationship, she told me that he use to come her home and everyone  treated him like their own family member but she never went to his home and he was also never invited her for any reason. I just kept my eyes shut for few seconds and then woke up with a solution. "ma'am i have a solution for your problem" she looked at me and her posture shows the intensity of knowing the solution of her problem which she was facing since last few years which is now seems as a decade. I told her to visit his home without giving him any hint or information, this will clear all the doubts and also she would able to know that whether they know her or not. She kept mum for some time then turned her head and start looking outside but this time her eyes was overloaded with tears and finally some of them which were very fortunate finally rolled out on her soft and smooth skin and ending up at chin, she tries to pull her hand to wipe her tears but i rejected her initial tries and wiped her tear with my own hand. To break the intense atmosphere i cracked a third graded joke and told her to come near to me and close her eyes, "i have a surprise for you" she smiled and closed her eyes, i continued the plan and took out the big chocolate that i bought for her and then told her to open her eyes. She became very happy and told me to ask anything from her. I got a golden chance and i again told her to close her eyes and she did the same, i went very near to her, the intensity of her perfume became ten thousand times, even i can hear her loud and smooth breathe, her hair was kissing my face and spreading beautiful smell all around me, i came back on my seat and took a deep breath, my heart was pumping like a bullet gun and then suddenly i felt the fall in temperature, This is the first time i had seen her from such a close distance, she was more beautiful than i imagined
, before i came out from that moment She exclaimed " hey am i allowed to open my eyes?" i told her yes ma'am you can, she looked all around her seat and mine too and then made a unnatural expression, "so why you told me to close my eyes" i replied her" ma'am actually i was busy in watching you, she laughed and closed her eyes once again and told me this is last time i am closing my eyes, i went very closer to her and now we both can feel the love in the air.