Time has special quality to drift away more than our imagination. It is more cruel than our reality perhaps gives the pleasure of being subtle. Now it's you who play the most deterministic role, who decide the very fortune and define the unknown projected line in your palm. She was inside the deep thinking without any blink of her eyes like the shutter of a camera who was mesmerized by the view it was going to take. uncombed hair, bright eyes with round specks covering the most part of her face, with a long arrow nose perfectly seated and showing the gratitude to the specs. The unnatural lines of her face which tells you that how many times you have tried to give a fake smile And finally the lips, fumbling but dried with the ocean of words. Short hair with lots of curls and swirls hanging around with a black dark circle around those responsible eyes.
yes there she was, seated silently on her chair and gazing on her laptop like a turtle with little bent neck away from slim and perfectly curved body. An unknown expression of disagreement and fighting with her own brain. I went a bit closer to her and was shocked when i found her writing a poem and scrolling the face book page up and down without paying much attention to her finger which was totally senseless at that time.
first time I standing in front of a typical Haryanvi girl, little confused and with lots of unknown thoughts running around her mind. I made a small plan to talk with her after my first interaction that we had at the door of the library last evening. It's not because I was getting attracted toward her eyes or face or anything which physically exist but the sad face or I can say the suppressed feeling that attracts me more towards her.
she was sinking inside her deep thoughts when I reached nearby and found her writing a poem in her copy, she allowed me to read the poem which was telling me about her perception for life and every words of that poem had its own meaning wrapped inside some modest culture bringing happiness as well as disappointment. It describing the very true sense. connecting every dots of the unconditional love and sacrifice of everything which was common in both me and in her as well but of course it can't be possible for two same people in this whole planet. Circumstances are different but the direction was same.
My urge to know about her, to read her mind, to understand her frequent and fluctuating behavior was at boom and keep forcing me to talk with her, still I was confused , because none of the word present in the dictionary was describing it completely. Finally I made it to spend some private time with her so that I can satisfy my inner voice and fulfill the unknown wish. I was also feeling afraid because the path on which I was moving will end up at critical stage where I wont find any way back to the beginning, true but who cares, I was ready to play with my mind with it's more intense and warmth behavior.
That evening which was drenched with her pure and brackish water drops coming out her eyes and reflecting the light coming from stars and the moon enfolded with some deep pain and sign of down casted feelings liberating some unknown aroma in the air dragging me very badly towards her pain,
her past was as sharp as dagger which would kill anyone who tries to touch it but she was still carrying it somewhere deep down in her heart. Its sharp edge hurting her every time, giving her wound which was very hard to heal. She know it very well but this dagger is the only hope which helps her to feel more safe and stop her not to fight again with the same monster. She was right but life is not something which you can judge on your experience but it is something to create such experience, it is dynamic, it is beautiful and to make her understand this I was keep moving inside her thoughts, I was silently listening her, every words, every lines, every feelings and yes the silence too which was a bit more intense than the other two.
it was not less than a nightmare giving me goose bumps. every word coming out her mouth was connecting me with her, forcing me to held her hand, wipe her tears, hug her to make her feel warm and comfortable but I know she won't trust anyone anymore. I tried my best to be with her and I was very happy because I was able to made her feel comfortable at the end with a great and peaceful smile filled with harmoniousness after sharing everything that hurting her and limiting her to think beyond her real existence. I was correct about her, she was carrying a ton of guilt inside her for which she was not responsible at all. that evening was cruel because it made her to went through the same things again but dutiful too which calm down her inner agitation and stress.
Every single minute of that 2 hour and 37 minutes time made me feel strange and contented because she shared everything with me and given me one of the important position in her life, meeting with any guy is common for every girl but very few of them are lucky who got the trust and to play one the important role which may last an hour, a day, a week or may be lifetime. Winning her body is more easy than winning her heart, trust and soul. I want to make her realize that you are unique and beautiful in your own way. She knows everything the truth, the lies the situation but totally unaware of the the future. Past was still pulling her back.
She has something inside her which was ready to explode and its sound will reach the every corner of this planet but she was again in the same competition not because she wants to but to indulge herself into that busy part of her life which will take so long to settle down. Her eyes wants to see beyond the sky, her steps wants to go far far away and around the planet, her smile want to touches her both ears, her wings are ready to fly but she was tied with her past. When this negative things dominant in her feelings I saw the change, she will smile like even an ugly feeling transform into some pure and calm breeze spreading love and affection in the air. She looks so beautiful in typical Indian dress with a small bindi in the center of her eyebrows which always assured me, yes Navin everything is fine with me today. she still have child like heart which is ready to do all stupid things but when she will found someone who can tolerate her small silly unknowing behavior and made her feel comfortable and safe.
yes there she was, seated silently on her chair and gazing on her laptop like a turtle with little bent neck away from slim and perfectly curved body. An unknown expression of disagreement and fighting with her own brain. I went a bit closer to her and was shocked when i found her writing a poem and scrolling the face book page up and down without paying much attention to her finger which was totally senseless at that time.
first time I standing in front of a typical Haryanvi girl, little confused and with lots of unknown thoughts running around her mind. I made a small plan to talk with her after my first interaction that we had at the door of the library last evening. It's not because I was getting attracted toward her eyes or face or anything which physically exist but the sad face or I can say the suppressed feeling that attracts me more towards her.
she was sinking inside her deep thoughts when I reached nearby and found her writing a poem in her copy, she allowed me to read the poem which was telling me about her perception for life and every words of that poem had its own meaning wrapped inside some modest culture bringing happiness as well as disappointment. It describing the very true sense. connecting every dots of the unconditional love and sacrifice of everything which was common in both me and in her as well but of course it can't be possible for two same people in this whole planet. Circumstances are different but the direction was same.
My urge to know about her, to read her mind, to understand her frequent and fluctuating behavior was at boom and keep forcing me to talk with her, still I was confused , because none of the word present in the dictionary was describing it completely. Finally I made it to spend some private time with her so that I can satisfy my inner voice and fulfill the unknown wish. I was also feeling afraid because the path on which I was moving will end up at critical stage where I wont find any way back to the beginning, true but who cares, I was ready to play with my mind with it's more intense and warmth behavior.
That evening which was drenched with her pure and brackish water drops coming out her eyes and reflecting the light coming from stars and the moon enfolded with some deep pain and sign of down casted feelings liberating some unknown aroma in the air dragging me very badly towards her pain,
her past was as sharp as dagger which would kill anyone who tries to touch it but she was still carrying it somewhere deep down in her heart. Its sharp edge hurting her every time, giving her wound which was very hard to heal. She know it very well but this dagger is the only hope which helps her to feel more safe and stop her not to fight again with the same monster. She was right but life is not something which you can judge on your experience but it is something to create such experience, it is dynamic, it is beautiful and to make her understand this I was keep moving inside her thoughts, I was silently listening her, every words, every lines, every feelings and yes the silence too which was a bit more intense than the other two.
it was not less than a nightmare giving me goose bumps. every word coming out her mouth was connecting me with her, forcing me to held her hand, wipe her tears, hug her to make her feel warm and comfortable but I know she won't trust anyone anymore. I tried my best to be with her and I was very happy because I was able to made her feel comfortable at the end with a great and peaceful smile filled with harmoniousness after sharing everything that hurting her and limiting her to think beyond her real existence. I was correct about her, she was carrying a ton of guilt inside her for which she was not responsible at all. that evening was cruel because it made her to went through the same things again but dutiful too which calm down her inner agitation and stress.
Every single minute of that 2 hour and 37 minutes time made me feel strange and contented because she shared everything with me and given me one of the important position in her life, meeting with any guy is common for every girl but very few of them are lucky who got the trust and to play one the important role which may last an hour, a day, a week or may be lifetime. Winning her body is more easy than winning her heart, trust and soul. I want to make her realize that you are unique and beautiful in your own way. She knows everything the truth, the lies the situation but totally unaware of the the future. Past was still pulling her back.
She has something inside her which was ready to explode and its sound will reach the every corner of this planet but she was again in the same competition not because she wants to but to indulge herself into that busy part of her life which will take so long to settle down. Her eyes wants to see beyond the sky, her steps wants to go far far away and around the planet, her smile want to touches her both ears, her wings are ready to fly but she was tied with her past. When this negative things dominant in her feelings I saw the change, she will smile like even an ugly feeling transform into some pure and calm breeze spreading love and affection in the air. She looks so beautiful in typical Indian dress with a small bindi in the center of her eyebrows which always assured me, yes Navin everything is fine with me today. she still have child like heart which is ready to do all stupid things but when she will found someone who can tolerate her small silly unknowing behavior and made her feel comfortable and safe.
I started spent more time with her in knowing her, sometime laughing sometime explaining the things sometime just looking at her and saw her busy mouth which was always busy to complete every discussion. Though I don't like having tea but nowadays I started taking it like a serum and yes it is working though. Of course I was not in love but a deep discussion with a stuck life of my friend. Everyday I used to wait for the time when she would come and invite me for a cup of tea. We both spent some time together and help her to inculcate the real existence inside her story.
She have lots of friends and I was well aware that I am not one among them but my intention was always to make her feel happy and boost her confidence to be great and amazing, pushing her toward a new goal a new future where she will be keep moving with confidence and enjoying her each moments of life. Don't know when she will find anyone who make her feel different accepting her with the real her and hold her hands till the last breath or may be she start walking alone without any fear and her past.
All the best Monica.
All the best Monica.
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