CHAPTER 4: HEARTBREAKING TRUTH

suddenly i realised that tomorrow was Sunday and everybody was busy in planning the weekend but i was waiting for Monday and my ect class and this is the proof that a single woman have ability to turn your life upside down, you will start loving the most disgusting thing in this universe, ya study😈. On Saturday night while using my whats app suddenly i found a new message from unknown number and the message was "you are present on whats app too" i try to recognise the number because there were no profile pic , then i opened my ect notebook and matched the number with maam's numb and found that it was different, then i thought may be its from my bastard friend who always try to make me fool, but i was very curious to know so i replied in the same way, of course i am on whats app" then after few minutes i had got a reply "looking very good in your DP" and i was sure that this anyone did not belong to my friends zone because they never appreciated my single photo😉 So i finally asked who are you then she replied I am your Ma'am. Oh god!! I was on cloud nine because i had her personal number not like others who only had her official number, i placed my cell phone on the table and start dancing and my roommate was watching me with great curiosity and finally breaks his silence and asked me "what happen why are you so happy" i told him " nothing i created highest score in clash of clan"😄

Then i continued our chatting till 12:45 AM finally ma'am told me to sleep and bid goodbye to me. I was very happy on that day and slept with my mobile on my belly suddenly my mobile vibrated and i found it underneath my pillow  by half opened eye i saw the name on the screen "MY FAVOURITE MA'AM" and the time was 730 hours in the morning, i picked it up in just two bells and was felling so fantastic because i had both the thing that i wanted  at that time, my cosy bed and a soft and sweet familiar voice which was making my morning a fantastic one. We talked and talked and talked continuously till 11;30 and finally my friend came back from outing and found me talking with someone in the same condition as they left me few hours ago, that day we talked only about her, about her life in that college and the most important thing that break my heart was she had a boyfriend.😢

Its okay if she had a boyfriend and i think there is no restriction for liking someone, i was assuring myself that everything was alright but i know that nothing was right, so its better to had some good fresh chicken than feeling bad so i and my roommate went out for the lunch as on every Sunday we get chicken curry in our hostel.
 In the evening at  around 7:30 i got another message from my fav ma'am "are you busy" then we talked for next half an hour but this time i was feeling little low that  i am not doing right, i should study but whenever i saw my fav ma'am on my mobile screen i was not able to stop myself picking up the call or not replying anything. She again called me at night around 10:30 PM and we talked for next 2 hours, still i was not understanding that why she wanted to talk with me though she had a boyfriend, so finally i asked her about her boyfriend" Ma'am why you don't talk to your boyfriend" she told me nothing about that issue on that day but wanted to share something and for this she was testing me that whether i am a trustworthy person or not, she already had good friends even more mature than me and  well  in their experiences but she found me the right one, still its a secret why? 😂but i think she finally found someone with whom she can share everything and every worries she was facing at that time and  talking like a friend since one complete week she broke her silence and told me something which again forced me to dive completely in her life once again.

THE TINY BOAT

the voice of the wave telling me a story

about a small tiny boat and its wonderful glory..

it started its journey from very end of the sea

went far beyond the ripple that nobody can see...

sometime dancing, sometime quiet

proceeding with confidence no matter left or right...

sometime dark, sometime bright

share wonderful lullaby with the star filled night...

never discouraged by the roar of the sea

unfolding its journey by singing its own glee...

watched thousand of big boats with its great 

perfection

sailing with ego, pride and in a particular direction...

but it never felt bad on being so small

however felt happy for getting wonderful life and soul...

breaking the silence and the sorrow of the sea

fighting with the big storm but never plea for mercy...

finally one day it reaches happily to its own destination

before the big boats who were still fighting with its complexity and frustration...

CHAPTER 3: TWO SPLENDID HOURS

on the next day as usual like everyday i woke up and went through the college routine and found that today i was  going to meet with her again so i put little extra efforts in grooming myself for the coming time. After breakfast i and my friend headed for the classroom but suddenly we found that our classmates were coming back from the college with a huge smile and extreme level of happiness like they got everything whatever they have manifested from their life, i asked one of my friend who was more happier than anyone else and his name was Nirmal, he told me that today is no class because of back paper exam, my roommate jumped with joy that he got time to bet money on women cricket match, such a jerk!!
                                          I was the only among them who was still confirming it seriously and i think i was only among them who was not happy with that announcement because from some past days i became very responsible student specially for the ect subject.
i came back to my hostel room and saw myself into the mirror, i found that today i was looking more smart than compare to any other day but no use, suddenly an idea clicked my mind that this is the perfect time to make this official date , i dialled her number and called her to know that whether she was busy in exam duty or not, she picked up the call and told me that yes she is free after 10:30. I took a very deep breathe and by help of my pencil and ect notebook i started planning, it was 8:50 am i opened the copy and start underlining my doubts. i went through the syllabus of that subject so that i could make meaningful doubts to create my first impression, then i went to washroom to wash my face and the next half hour i was totally devoted for grooming myself.Then i stand in front of mirror and  was making different facial expression to look more bold and attractive. i went to my friend's room to borrow  his perfume and put it on my shirt suddenly i looked at him, he was looking at me like i borrowed his two kidneys and  he is waiting eagerly to snatch it back, so i returned and start talking with his roommate and as soon as he went to the washroom i just grabbed the bottle and poured it everywhere till i felt satisfied, my socks were also happy that day.
then i looked at my watch and found that its already 10, i was very excited and anyone can easily smell my perfume from several metres away from me.
I took my bag and put my notebook inside my bag as i was just about to leave the room, my roommate asked me that where i am going? I told him that i am going to clarify my doubts then he given me a wicked smile and before he break a new discussion i left the room ignoring him.
I went straight to the electrical block, as i belongs to mechanical branch whenever we go to cse or electrical branch it makes us feel like we are travelling from rajasthan to Kashmir. I was so excited that i didn't care about the operation and climb the the stairs in fraction of time and i was on the third floor where she was waiting for me may be..
the exam was going on and there was pin drop silence, i went near to the faculty room and "there she was"... busy with her work,little tensed with tilted head which forcing her loosely bounded hair to dance with every breathe she takes, sometime even her hair want to feel her soft care which she do in between her work with her pen and tug it behind her ear. writing something on the paper and was so busy that she didn't noticed me that i was standing at the door, her dress was matching with her bindi and before i notice anything else i heard a harsh sound from my back, i turned around and found that there was a faculty coming from the other faculty room and telling me to go outside and came very near to me, before i open my mouth  someone from my back told me to go inside the room, i found her standing in front of me, i stepped inside the room then they talked for few minutes and she came back into her room at that time I was looking at her stuffs over the table, her clip, rubber band, examination answer sheet, book which alone looks like a complete library, her mobile phone, brown purse and the perfume which driving me crazy once again. suddenly the intensity of that heavenly perfume continue to increase and finally she was in front of me with her beautiful smile and awesome eyes, well shaped eyebrows surrounded by dark black eyeliners filling life into those eyes and first time i saw a small mole near her lips which was amazing. She again break the silence and told me to ask the doubts, and when she was doing that i was watching her lips in slow motion, finally i put my hand inside my bag and took out my notebook and opened the underlined pages, she explained everything in a very polite way, when she looks up into my eyes i look down into my notebook and when she write anything into the notebook i use to see her more closely without a single blink

This continues till my last doubt came and i felt like damn man why i had so less doubt, then she asked me any more doubt Navin, i told her no ma'am that's it. then she asked me once again that had i understood every doubt, i moved my head in affirmation though i hadn't understood my single doubt but yeah i do remember the touch at the time of giving her my pen and notebook. Finally i put my notebook inside my bag and came out from the room and while crossing the door i  turn around to see her last time and i found her that she was also looking at me, i felt very embarrassed and ran out from the building and that last eye contact complete that first personal meeting and those two splendid and marvellous hours. 

STAY STRONG

look above and see the stars....

they all are bright but they do have scars....

they are so high that nobody can touch....

is everyone pure? because i never found anyone as such....

so don't worry if you are going through tough time....

look forward to your dreams you have enough time....

always smile and live this amazing life....

whatever the situation will come you gonna survive....

stay strong whenever anyone tries to break you...
be the mountain if any situation wants to shake you...

fill your life with the colour of the rainbow...
force your pain, anxiety and stress to let go...

the echo of the positivity must touch your heart...
it's the time to go for a new start....

whenever you feel that something is suppressing you, may be its your own mistake, never go down
we are human being we do commit mistakes and this completes us. Actually this situation telling you to take a small break not from your work but from your daily routine, pack your bag and just move your ass to place which is waiting for you,new relation which need help from you, new thoughts which needs you to evolve, everyday is very beautiful just be the part of it because without you it is incomplete.

CHAPTER 2- SPELL ALL AROUND

So after the class every student  was waiting to ask lots of questions from ma'am even those students who didn't know even the name of that subject. I just grabbed my bag and came out from my class because this time something different was running inside my mind, even my steps were broader than usual and I was taking  big leap toward my room. my heart was pumping like it had never done before and giving me wrong signal about the things that was going to happen. Lots of bad thoughts was running inside my mind about losing the number, sometime i felt that whether she had given me the correct number or not because people do commit mistakes. As soon as i reached my room i found that my roommate was already there and was smiling at me. I removed my shirt and was watching my scar happily that today it helped me to make it possible. suddenly my roommate chuckled and commented on me " pahle hi din suru " i was very happy from inside but to hide my emotion i was reacted like " please yaar change your mentality she is my ma'am".

I had my lunch and open that copy several times to count that number to make it sure that it was of 10 digit number and still  i was in doubt so i asked my friend the same copy to match the content of that day and finally felt satisfied after matching that number. In the evening i went to the football ground but was very sad at that time because i was not allowed to play for 2 weeks because of the operation.
i was watching the game and waiting for the night so that i could make my first impression like a innocent and studious guy. I came back by 6:45 to my room opened my notebook and started writing something in that, my roommate thought that i was busy in studying because of my serious facial expression and you know about the human nature he was  also start reading seriously  but actually i was writing my first conversation that was going to happen just after few hours and i already corrected it many times. Finally i succeeded in doing that but now the biggest challenge was to make it happen like the way i wanted.

Time came when the clock and my heart was ticking with the same frequencies and i saw the hour hand just strike the nine .my roommate told me to go for night supper. I told him that i am not feeling good today and refused to join him for the dinner so that it will remain as a mystery. Finally my roommate left the room and i was alone at that time in my room. I just opened my notebook and read it few times, took my mobile phone and dialled the number carefully. My eyes were at the door but my mind was at the number which i have dialled on my mobile phone.Finally i pressed the call button and was waiting to hear that soft and beautiful sound once again. My whole body was drenched by the sweat of unknowing force which was driving me crazy. i was again looking at the door and suddenly i heard the same melodies sound from the other side, this time it was filled with little tiredness which making it more magical and splendid damn!! I just don't want to break that soft breeze so i had not uttered a single word and was just listening to her. After seven or eight soft and amazing  hello she hung up the call. I dialled the number again and was ready with the excuse for the previous connection but as soon she picked up the call my nerve went fragile once again and the very first word that came from my mouth was "ma'am Navin" then she replied with the two word which brought me down from my fairy world not on the ground but even 5 miles down the ground and those two words are "Kaun Navin"? I felt very disappointed and thrown my planning into the nearby dustbin and before i was going to introduce myself she suddenly exclaimed oh Navin from mech batch "a"? My forbidden smile again covered my entire face and my my heart was challenging my mind that "Common dude how she can forget you," I continued the conversation "ma'am i have so many doubts in 1st module, could you spare some time in clarifying those doubts" finally i moved my very first step for my first unofficial cum official meeting She told me that it might not possible tomorrow but i will try. OK Ma'am bye and yes forget to tell you one thing "GOOD NIGHT and SWEET DREAM".After disconnecting the call i was happy as well as sad, happy because finally i made it and sad because date was still not confirmed.
Tomorrow i woke up early and went through the college routine and found that today was no ECT class but still there was hope for an unknowing message holding wonderful moments.That day i waited whole day to hear something from her side but i think still it will take some breathtaking incident to fulfill my wish.

CHAPTER-1 THE INTRODUCTION

It was Sunday evening, mid of September when i was returning from my home leaving all my true connections with a heavy brown duffel bag filled with love of my mother in the form of snacks, matri,cookies and with a big pack of kaju barfi. Everything was same as earlier same plant, same buildings same road but i was different. In my childhood i love to draw the scars of stitches on my arms with ink pain just to feel the importance of scars in superhero's life, but this time i got a real one on the right side of my abdomen. Yes i had gone through an appendicitis operation and doc advised me to take complete bed rest at least for 2 week but i wanted to attend my second sem classes from very beginning so to justify that scar and me as a real superhero. I came back to my hostel just after 8 days of my operation.
I was surprised by my new roommate because he was none other than one of the great great gambler of my college "MALIK". He use to cover his head with a white piece of cloth just like my mother put the cloth on the mouth of the earthen pot while making homemade pickle. Nobody know the secret behind his cloth. He opened the door and helped me to put my bag under my bed then suddenly i discovered that he lost his one tooth from the front upper jaw and the reason was money which he had lost during the last match between India and England. Whenever he smile his tongue peep through his rest teeth like someone is looking through the window.
finally after our night supper he came to me and
hand over me the schedule of my next day class. My eyes went through the whole schedule but i found that none of the subjects are known or it was like i was reading a book belongs to aliens. Suddenly he opened his mouth and told me about some new subject which basically belongs to electrical branch, it was not about that sub

but the faculty who was taking that sub at that time.

It was Monday morning, cool breeze was blowing all around the city because of the green mountains that surround our college just like a sea surrounds an island. I tried to gulp my breakfast as fast as i could because i was getting late for my class. I entered into the building where my class was running and again felt the buzzing and humming sound coming from the building because of  our very studious friends who were busy in chit chatting.

 Suddenly i found that I am standing in front of my classroom but the gate was closed but i was amazed by the sincerity of my classmates because there was pin drop silence, I was waiting for an another student to come so that we both can enter together inside the classroom and share the punishment, but no one came to help me so finally I decided to go inside the class. As soon as i pushed the door I heard sweet and soft sound coming from inside  it was like even an ugly word feeling very proud coming out from heaven and showing ego to my ears.
i saw a tall lady with black silky hair wearing sky blue salwar (an Indian typical dress) with a matching hair clip and with a simple sandal which is also matching with the dress  before i complete  my investigation she suddenly turned in my direction and asked me " Yes! what happened? " i saw her face, the very first time with well shaped eyebrows, complete black eyes  which is beautifully carved like a shell , soft lips with lots of minor curve lines emerging from upper lips and touching the lower lips giving the touch of  flower petals, her soft glowy skin with beautiful smell but the most attractive thing that made me totally into her was a small bindi in between her eyebrows with the same colour of her dress. before i came back in the reality i saw her that she was standing in front of me and giving me a perplexed look and this was the third time she was asking about me" Tell me why are you late?" i controlled my emotions and felt very proud while telling her the reason  that i had done something great to save this world. Then she given me sympathetic look and asked me"Are you all right ?" i felt very good and wanted to tell her everything so that i could get more sympathy and  a hug to reduce my suffer oh god!! before i open my mouth she told me to sit down and my small plan broken into pieces...i took the very first seat of my class  yeah from the back where i used to sit.
she again started writing some alien language on the blackboard which means nothing to me, i was still watching her from the corner of my eyes and she caught me doing this, second time when i chin up i found her standing nearby me and looking into my notebook. I started writing something in my notebook like i know everything then she asked me "What is your name?" i told her softly "ma'am Navin" she again asked me" Navin are you getting anything" i moved my head in negative, then she came very near to me, the intensity of that beautiful and alluring odour of her perfume took me to different world of my own imagination, she grabbed the pen from my hand and opened the last page of my notebook which is full of sketches of girls on the sea shore and my different types of signature which made her smile, it was very embarrassing situation for me but next moment i felt like i have finally won the battle when she written down her number and told me to contact me after the class. Whole class was started shouting "Ma'am given him her number, hooooo" i broaden my chest twice than usual and saw everyone like i am Brad Pitt of troy movie who killed the beast with just one move of his sword!

Ma'am was smiling and written down her number on the blackboard and told everyone that everyone can take my number and call me but please be careful about the timings, no call after 11 in the night.
Then she looked at me and told me to note down that alien language in my notebook.This was the first introduction of mine with the person who teaches me the real meaning of life.

WHEN SHE WAS WITH ME.....(dedicated to all woman)

when she was with me....
when she was with me....

every night was floating, in the sea of my dreams....
got an amazing courage, against my fear and my screams....

no wonder from where this splendid change came....
breaking up every challenge because i am no more the same....

when she was with me....
when she was with me....

every moments seems like a paradise....
for which i was ready to pay any price....

my heart was controlling my mind and my soul....
even an ugly dark night not frightened me at all....

when she was with me....
when she was with me....

i had no more hunger for my life and for my fame....
i think i had lost my mind and with it's deep thoughts and acumen....

sometimes i realise that this too would obsolete.....
but holding her hands made me feel so complete....

when she was with me....
when she was with me...


This poem is dedicated to all women in this planet who are giving their best to make this world a better place to live, this is dedicated to all mother, sister, wife and every women who plays a vital role in our life. Thank you for helping us to achieve our goal in life and making it so beautiful and amazing. You all are awesome and you always deserve good life and respect wherever you are.
Thanks maa and my three beautiful sisters who are very annoying but the best friends of my life.


 

DON'T LOSE HOPE........

the more we go....
the more we need....

just like sunshine...
and a tiny seed.....

start with fear...
end with strength...

give challenge to struggle...
for that we meant....

explore your branches to go high....
there is very less gap
between this earth and sky.....

give shadow to the dejected soul...
help them to bring best in all...

go deep in search of life...
that's the way you will learn
How to survive....... 

my dear friends i am not a philosopher not a very intelligent man... i am just a simple human being
who also have big dream and courage to make it real. There is  nothing easy in this universe but we can make it, we know we have to move anyhow on the same path which we have chosen for our life so please be happy and always put a smile on your face this will eat half of your problems and anxiety.i do hope that these few lines from my pen make you feel different for at least few seconds.

WATCHING YOU

why dark is always bad.....

have you ever seen the reflection of floating white stone in the night....

have you ever dare to see the moonlight perching the beauty of woods.....

have you ever felt the coldness of this light with your shivering eyes....

have you ever felt the drop of fresh humid air on your face....

dark is as bright as day...

as important as light....

i can feel the movement of your eyes while reading the black spots appearing in different pattern in front of your face with white glowing bright light from back..... your brain synchronising the black lines and converting this into wonderful feelings and take you to another world full of colours.

my aim for writing this blog is to give you some beautiful experience through your perception and my thoughts. 

i will take you to your own story written by my pen and travelled through my life. Hope you all going to appreciate me and took keen interest in your own story.